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rojonoir
19 November 2009 @ 10:28 am


I'm looking forward to watching new remake of The Prisoner, though I expect I will have a love/hate reaction. I know nothing about it, but I suspect they will strip it of it's social relevance and surreal awesomeness, leaving who knows what left.

Here's how I would have done the remake if they had asked me:

Number 6, aka Rambo (played by James Spader), was the top soldier in the special forces in Afghanistan in the 80s, being personally responsible for the mujahideen victory over the soviets. After that he was dropped into Sadr city in Iraq to help with the shiite uprising at the end of the gulf war. He was betrayed and had to leave behind countless friends to be slaughtered by Saddam Hussein. From there he came home and angrily submitted his resignation. Years later, right before the 2003 invasion of Iraq, he was roughly woken up in his shabby little apartment, still a bit drunk from the night before. The last thing he remembers before blacking out was being hooded and drugged. He wakes up, a bit bleary-eyed, in a very nice apartment. Confused, he stumbles to the window and looks out and sees Gitmo Village (filmed on location at Portmeirion from the original series).

Among the other residents in the village is Osama Bin Laden (played by Paris Hilton). Rambo and Osama often play chess together, and Osama seems to know something but refuses to answer any questions about the village or who is number one, quoting cryptic Koran verses instead.

I can't decide who the other residents would be, but some ideas I was thinking of:
Gorbachev - played by Susan Sarandon with a cheesy Russian accent
Rumsfeld - played by Mr. T
Mao Tse Tung - played by Lucy Liu
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Current Mood: artistic
 
 
rojonoir
29 October 2009 @ 11:03 am


Twilight (2008) - Boy meets girl, boy wants to kill and eat girl, tries hard to fight urge. Love story.
Cat People (1942) - Girl meets boy, girl wants to kill and eat boy, tries hard to fight urge. Horror movie.

Discuss.
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Current Mood: contemplative
 
 
rojonoir
23 October 2009 @ 09:41 am
Driving to work this morning, I had a spark of genius - a wearable theremin (funky 50s musical instrument invented by soviet scientists where hand proximity controls pitch and amplitude) with bra-mounted antennas connected to an ohmibod (vibrator controlled by music signal from an ipod, or, you know, a theremin). I was sure that I was the first to think of such a thing, but some quick google searches showed that someone else already came up with the bra-mounted, wearable theremin idea. I'm pretty sure plugging it into an ohmibod is new, though.

Alice Malloy and Her Homemade Theremin Bra:
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Current Mood: pleased
 
 
rojonoir
19 October 2009 @ 09:59 pm


So I was in this high-tech research lab, after very careful research and many tests done on various samples, followed by intensive data crunching on a massively parallel supercomputer, I had the final results in hand. The percentage DNA similarity between the genomes of all the presidents from Washington to Obama versus the biological robo-lubricant used in the animatronic presidents in the Hall of the Presidents at Disneyland.
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Current Mood: dreamy
 
 
rojonoir
14 October 2009 @ 10:10 pm
Email from Vonda N. McIntyre:

Hi everybody,

Ursula K. Le Guin's 80th birthday is on 21 October 2009 and I'm going to post a Happy Birthday Ursula message on my website and my blogs that day, and I think I have some other folks talked into doing the same.

I just thought it might be fun if a lot of websites and blogs wished her Happy Birthday. (It's also the 40th anniversary of Left Hand of Darkness.) Her website is www.ursulakleguin.com (the actual content begins on http://www.ursulakleguin.com/UKL_info.html )

And from [info]holyoutlaw: Make a note of this, and feel free to repost to your own blog.
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rojonoir


No, really. More from wikipedia:

"It is speculated that St. Elizabeths has treated over 125,000 patients, though an exact number is not known due to poor recordkeeping.[6] Additionally, thousands of patients are believed to be buried in unmarked graves across the campus, but, again, records for the individuals buried in the graves have been lost. More than 15,000 known autopsies were performed at St. Elizabeths between 1884 and 1982, and a collection of over 1,400 brains preserved in formaldehyde, 5,000 photographs of brains, and 100,000 slides of brain tissue was maintained by the hospital until it was transferred to a museum in 1986.[6] In addition to the mental health patients buried on the campus, several hundred Civil War soldiers are interred there as well."
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rojonoir
08 October 2009 @ 02:55 pm


Torremolinos 73 (2004) by Pablo Berger
Spain, circa 1973. Alfredo is a struggling door to door encyclopedia salesman. Meanwhile his wife Carmen is obsessed with becoming a mother. Alfredo’s boss gives Alfredo a choice: make 'educational' sex films at home for a Scandinavian distributor, or get fired. Alfredo chooses the former, and it quickly becomes apparent that a) Alfredo has a knack for directing and b) Carmen is a fabulous actress!


O Amor Natural (1996) by Heddy Honigmann
O Amor Natural is a documentary film about the erotic poetry of one of the greatest Latin American poets of the 20th century, the Brazilian Carlos Drummond de Andrade (1902-1987).
Visiting the beaches and streets of Rio de Janeiro, filmmaker Heddy Honigmann approaches elderly men and women and asks them to read some of Drummond’s explicit verses (“Love guide my verse, and as it guides/wed, soul and desire, member and vulva.”), triggering reminiscences the likes of which younger souls rarely hear from their grandparents.


Suddenly (2002) by Diego Lerman
Marcia, a lonely lingerie salesclerk in Buenos Aries, dreams of escaping her dreary life. One day she is propositioned by a pair of girls named Lenin and Mao. When she resists, they kidnap her, steal a taxi, and go looking for the beach. Marcia is a little frightened - but also a little excited. A sexy road movie shot through with a raw freshness reminiscent of early Godard or Jarmusch, Suddenly is “the sort of modestly scaled movie that feels like a gift" (Los Angeles Times).


Scarecrow has them all, but they're also on sale from First Run Features for $10 each.
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rojonoir


Once upon a time, a handsome prince fell in love with a beautiful princess. His parents forbid the marriage, demanding that he accepted an arranged marriage. The prince, heartbroken, decided that he couldn't live without his true love, so at a dinner with the whole royal family assembled, he whipped out a machine gun and gunned them all down. Then he shot himself in the head. Miraculously, he lived. Having killed the king and a series of next-in-line relatives, the prince became king. Sadly for him, he's was in a coma and died three days later.

Meanwhile his evil uncle that no-one liked returned from abroad. His life was owed to the fact that nobody liked him - the reason he wasn't invited to the bloodbath dinner party.

The evil uncle took his new job as king very seriously. First order of business was to dissolve parliament, ban dissent, and get really really serious about defeating the maoist rebels that controlled two thirds of the countryside. Democracy is for losers. Only a strong king ruling with an iron fist could defeat the maoists.

The evil uncle king did something that nobody thought was possible, unite the people of Nepal working together for one purpose. Everyone joined hands in a giant display of unity, even the maoists. Encircling the royal palace. Um... They forced the king to accept a constituent assembly to rewrite the constitution. They vote almost unanimously to force the king to abdicate, abolish the monarchy, establish a republic, and seize all royal property for the people of Nepal.
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rojonoir
22 September 2009 @ 04:18 pm


Sleep Dealer (2008)

Ohboy, this looks good. Scarecrow says they got it as a new release, but it doesn't seem to be in their rental database online... hmmm...
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rojonoir
09 September 2009 @ 12:19 pm


http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/09/gop_lawmakers_graphic_sex-bragging_caught_on_tape.php?ref=fpa
"Michael Duvall is a conservative Republican state representative from Orange County, California. While waiting for the start of a legislative hearing in July, the 54-year-old married father of two and family values champion began describing, for the benefit of a colleague seated next to him, his ongoing affairs with two different women. In very graphic detail."


The women are apparently lobbyists for utility companies and he happens to be the vice chair of the Committee on Utilities and Commerce. I'm all for spanking lobbyists, but that's not quite what I had in mind.

Oh, and of course, he's a staunch opponent of gay marriage.
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Current Mood: amused
 
 
rojonoir
09 September 2009 @ 11:29 am

(The NYC Modern School, ca. 1911–1912, Principal Will Durant and pupils.)

We got to the bus stop ten minutes early and got to watch as buses from other schools and metro buses passed by in every direction. I think we counted ten school buses. When the boy's bus came, they slowed down as they approached and then zoomed on by before we could read the bus number. I chased it down the block and everyone got on just fine.

It's amazing how much he has grown since that first day I met him, when he was so tiny and delicate. All he knew how to do was squeeze my finger and let out a weak newborn cry. Now I look at him and marvel at how fully independent he is, like there's nothing he can't do. Though I look forward to seeing him through all the growth ahead of him.

And now I look at wee one, who really needs a better name than wee one. She's the big girl of the house most days now and she'll get a chance to stand tall as the big kid in preschool, out from under the shadow of her big brother for the first time.

Being a younger child myself, I remember the days of special time alone or with my mom. By mid-afternoon, I'd be bored of the quiet house and empty neighborhood and keeping an eye out for the school bus bringing noise and fun. I also remember many afternoons demanding that my older sister teach me everything she learned in school that day, sure that she was holding back vital knowledge.
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Current Mood: proud
 
 
rojonoir
08 September 2009 @ 12:32 pm


Best faster-than-light jump evar - everyone has to strip down and rush into a co-ed shower and then jump into bio-protection pods that seem to have a 90% chance of preventing DNA mutations that could turn you into a human / spaghetti monster hybrid. A ship's computer named Sweetie that gets off on chess. A hermaphroditic alien sex object that encases isotropic ninth-dimensional matter. And a ship's captain working on a doctoral dissertation on violence in Tom and Jerry cartoons.

With James Spader and the daddy vampire from Twilight.
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Current Mood: pleased
 
 
rojonoir
03 September 2009 @ 09:43 am


http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/news/2009/09/finger_bitten_off_during_california_health_protest.php?ref=fpb

Finger bitten off during California health protest


"California authorities say a clash between opponents and supporters of health care reform ended with one man biting off another man's finger.
[...]
O'Hanlon says the man got into an argument and fist fight, during which he bit off the left pinky of a 65-year-old man who opposed health care reform.

A hospital spokeswoman says the man lost half the finger, but
doctors reattached it and he was sent home the same night.

She says
he had Medicare."
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Current Mood: amused
 
 
rojonoir
03 September 2009 @ 07:58 am
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rojonoir
The latest in virtual sex from Japan - the penistron (PG13, but probably not safe for work):



And a funny page with product-placement in amateur porn (definitely not safe for work):
http://www.pornomarketing.com/main.html

And a related link for [info]sabotabby, some Italian page on the same concept, but with a picture of a woman with Lenin bodypainted on here chest:
http://www.guerrigliamarketing.it/intelligence/pornomarketing.htm
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Current Mood: cheerful
 
 
rojonoir
03 August 2009 @ 10:57 am



Summaries after the cut )
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rojonoir
01 August 2009 @ 11:37 pm
The Spook Who Sat by the Door (1981) -
"In order to improve his standing with Black voters, a White Senator starts a campaign for the CIA to recruit Black agents. However, all are graded on a curve and doomed to fail, save for a soft-spoken veteran named Dan Freeman. After grueling training in guerrilla warfare, clandestine operations and unarmed combat, he is assigned a meager job as the CIA's token Black employee. After five years of racist and stereotyped treatment by his superiors, he quietly resigns to return to his native Chicago to work for a social services agency...by day. By night, he trains a street gang to be the vanguard in an upcoming race war, using all that the CIA has taught him..."

 
 
rojonoir
28 July 2009 @ 01:04 am
When I saw Harry Potter, I noticed a french movie poster for a David Bowie vampire flick. Looked it up at home: the Hunger (1983)

It's got David Bowie and Susan Sarandon! Why did nobody tell me about this movie?!

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Current Mood: tired
 
 
rojonoir
25 July 2009 @ 12:05 am


Liked it. And I realize they're all grown up now, but was it really necessary for them to waggle their broomsticks around like that?
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Current Mood: sleepy
 
 
rojonoir
15 July 2009 @ 12:17 pm


My car died and I'm happy because:

Check it out. You put in your address, you put in a thing you want to do and some restrictions on # of transfers, distance to walk, etc. And it shows a map with areas shaded different colors based on the time it would take to get there by bus. Click on the restaurant or whatever and it gives you the detailed plan for how to get there by bus.

Also - in their alpha page: http://alpha.onebusaway.org/
You can pick your stop and have it play an alert when you bus is X minuts from the stop.
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